Elizabeth and her fiancé Jerome visited, as well as Joyce. In the morning, they all cleaned Grandma and Grandpas house, vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms, running laundry, etc. so now the house is super clean which I'm sure Grandpa appreciates. It's hard doing all of this on your own, especially when you're not used to handling these things to begin with.
The afternoon was kind of difficult. While the gastric tube surgery went well, and Grandma was happy to have the visitors, my sister reported to me late in the afternoon that at some point Grandma all of a sudden started saying things like "I'm done." "I want to go home." [Not home to the house, but home to God.] "At this age, it's ok." [Kind of like, I'm ready to go, I've had a good life.]
Naturally this was upsetting, and they weren't really sure how to take all of this. This isn't inconsistent with Grandma's previously-mentioned wishes (prior to the stroke) that she didn't want to live "hooked up to a machine," but considering Grandma's progress it was really hard to hear her go on like this. I wasn't there, so I don't really know how things happened after this, but looking back the general thoughts going on that evening via emails and phone calls included:
- We know Grandma's wishes, and this is her decision, yes.
- However, it is kind of also our duty to be encouraging and help her stay positive while she still has a good prognosis -- and her treatment is still focused on recovery, not just "making her comfortable." She is not dying and not being sustained merely by machines.
- We should still have hope for all of this, and will have to see how she feels tomorrow and the next day... One day at a time.
So yeah. Saturday was a rough day. I think we were all emotional wrecks, trying to process this information and figure out where to go from here.
I had a giant piece of greasy pizza from the grocery store for dinner, I just didn't care. But I felt a bit better later in the evening after I had some time to think and get back to focusing on what comes next. <3
One day at a time...
One day at a time...
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