A few other things from my perspective I wrote about on Sunday but forgot to post:
- Grandma had some good moments and some depressed moments today; a little bit up and down throughout the day. I'm told she woke feeling kind of bummed, but Grandpa said a walk this morning was nice. She took a nap and was very happy to see Joyce, Andrei, and I when she woke, and was very chatty for quite awhile. In the beginning, she spoke a little less clearly than normal (clarity of actual speech was fine; but she would use some weird words from time to time or hesitate for awhile while trying to figure out how to say something), but as she became more awake she was more and more with it, happy to hear about the CPR/AED training I did yesterday (and we discussed changes in medical guidelines over the last several decades for awhile), hear about what Jason was up to, and Andrei's scouting stuff... but then she would start to get in one of those moods where she was acted like she wasn't sure how much better I can get, and how-can-you-be-so-sure-of-that. And when we helped her get into her wheelchair for an afternoon walk, there were some complications (we forgot to undo her food tube before helping her move to the chair and at some point it came undone, made a little mess... and then it was a three-person operation to adjust her pants which in all the scooting to the edge of the bed had twisted and ridden up so high Joyce thought they were shorts or pedal pushers.. and Grandma had a moment where she kind of whimpered about what "an operation" this was and felt discouraged "having to live like this," but we were able to encourage her away from maybe crying a little by reminding her that this wasn't it and that every time we see her she's improved, and that we love to help her in her recovery, etc. And then we went on a walk and she was a little bitt cocky again. We asked her about things she might want to do in the future and she said things like, "Well who SAYS I wouldn't be able to go [to the Annapolis Greek Festival this June]??" or "Well. I can do those things. It's all in your head!" So, up and down today.
- At some point primarily Joyce and Grandpa had a talk with Grandma about maybe trying an antidepressant -- this was while Grandma was in a bit of an ambivalent mood. She reiterated her spiel about "medications are the last thing I need," but understood a bit that an antidepressant might help her have more positive days and that would be helpful to her healing, and that she did not expect physical side effects and only expressed a concern for the mental side effects (I think she was afraid that they might affect her "personality")... but ultimately said (at that time) that she might be willing to try it. I'm not sure how convinced she was of this and don't know she would feel the same way if you asked her about it tomorrow or the next day as she was in one of those "You have to do what you can" and "It's worth a try" and "We can see what happens" type moods, but considering her typically strong anti-medication stance, I think this is worth noting. I don't recall what the doctors have recommended about that, but I do know that that antidepressants are not unusual in the course of stroke recovery because they do help in coping with discouragement, etc. But then, I think some of us know from experience that some antidepressants can make you feel a little flat or weird... *shrug* Guess we'll wait on that one.
- Still very good to remind Grandma of goals. She feels confident she will attend Elizabeth's wedding. She looks forward to a day when she can go by to see the house, but expressed some concern about getting the wheelchair over that step in the front sidewalk. (I was surprised she remembered it had a front step; I definitely did not!) She thought the idea of having a picnic on the rear lawn of the rehab center would be fun. She does look forward to being able to go home and cook what she wants (She definitely questions the nutritional quality of the meals she is given at HHRC) and she said she sort of missed having a glass of wine with dinner (I told her when she gets home and can have wine again, that first glass is going to be SO GOOD and she laughed and agreed about that, haha.)
- There was some discussion in subsequent emails among relatives about Grandma's likely feelings of lack of CONTROL, and I completely agreed. I tried to do
some things today that would help her feel more in control. Had her
choose what color sweater to wear when we went out (pink is springy, but
she liked the idea of wearing the purple one because I mentioned Dolley
liked red and purple and she was wearing a red tee shirt), and when we
went for our walk I made her choose what direction we went in. Giving
her choices helps her feel more in control of her fate and less like
everything is decided for her. This is something they teach you to do
when helping people who are depressed, too -- even just making them
decide simple things like what to wear or what to do (go for a walk, or
stay inside and talk some more) can be even a little bit empowering.
- We
also talked with her a bit about maybe seeing if we can adjust her
breakfast menu, since she doesn't like things like eggs and prefers
bananas and yogurt for breakfast... Adjusting what foods she gets might
help encourage her to eat more of her meals. :)
- Grandpa is the most wonderful, sweet, encourager ever. Seriously. He is so, so good. :) I just wanted to hug him all day! (My favorite part was we were on a walk outside and Grandma started to hang her head at some point, so Grandpa said to her, "Keep your head up, Meik*! The Queen has to keep her head up high, not looking down...!" Adorable.) (*Meik is Grandpa's nickname for Grandma; it comes from the Dutch word for a little girl.)
Overall an ok day. :)
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